So here is my layout/internalization of the new page 21. with some slight changes to the other layout. 9 panels. Alternate ending. no nudity. [grey tone added to help make sense of the skritchy-skratch.]panel 1 no change -- moved angle down and left
panel 2 - no change
panel 3 - speedlines? that's right dammit those ARE speedlines! I think top down will be tough here so I went with an angle that shows more of seedless reaction to Patrice's "rush". Need help here.
For both panels 4 and 5, I pushed in a little closer to their faces. We can still see seeds hands -not- grasping pat. He is back on his heels as she rushes to embrace him in panel 4. And then panel 5 has the calmer seeds, actually returning the embrace a little-- although his guard is only slightly down here. I think the emotions on both faces are really paramount here [my opinion]
panel 6 - again I pushed in a bit to see pats face. She is delivering the longest bit of dialogue in the piece here and I think we need to see and hear her. Also I unconsciously drew Patrice closer to seeds than in the layout (maybe I was trying to save space for the balloons but that's not like me at all) . ANyway, she is pulling back a bit from the embrace. Seeds is still kind of holding her although now he is trying to read her feelings- here his peace is interrupted by her words and reaction; he is back on guard a bit again.
panel 7 - perhaps Patrice looks a tad too angry here. I was going for a head-cocked look and maybe took it too far.
panel 8 -9 maybe to close-up to both seeds and brett...but panel 8 is nothing but seeds eyeballing brett expectantly so his face is enough I think. panel 9, I didn't think we needed to be over seeds' shoulder in the pic. lemme know and it is back.
[feedback demanded]
[obviously]
